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How to make a cabriolet from a russian car?
Ride it downhill so the wind blows away the roof.

Why Formula-1 racing never takes place in Russia?
Because in 5 seconds they manage to unscrew the tires and sell them.

A Russian is looking at the American apartment: bedroom 1, bedroom 2, dining room, kitchen, bedroom 3...
- We also have that in Russia but with no walls!

- From those five words please select one not related with others: airplane, helicopter, space shuttle, car, hemp.
- Hemp of course!. It's not a machine.
- Wrong. The car doesn't make you fly.

- What does fall from the sky and ends with "ot"?
- Don't know.
- Snow, idiot! And what does fall from the sky and ends with "ou"?
- Don't know.
- Snow, idiot. I've told you!

Wife complains to her husband:
- You never take me with you when you go anywhere!
- Ok, let's go take out the garbage together.

An American tells to his friend:
- Just returned from London. It's so easy to make love with an englishwoman! I've had Jane, Kelly, Mary, Catherine, John...
- What? John?
- London is foggy you know.

If you wanted to give up smoking but you couldn't, then tried to give up drinking and couldn't either, then to give up sex and no results again
- take it easy. Not a single smoker ever died from a drunken sex!

- Can you imagine? She was dancing on the table naked. Operating table...

Blue eyed blonde with big (.)(.) and well shaped (Y) is looking for a man with impressive 8==. Those with % please don't bother.

A pastor is walking along the street and saw a boy trying to reach a doorbell button. The pastor decides to help the boy, crosses the street and presses the button. Then he asks the boy: "What would you do now?" The boy turns about and screams: "Now run!"

Three men are complaining about the jams in the public transportation.
- "I can barely get in the bus", one says.
- "Come on, I lose my coat buttons every day!"
- "It's nothing. When I fart in the bus the smell comes out only at the end stop."

A boy is making a pit in the garden. A man comes up and asks:
- What are you digging for?
- My hamster died and I'm making the grave for him.
- Why is the grave so big?
- He is in the cat.

- My grandma still has the Book of Gospel dated 1804.
- Wow! I bet on 5¼” floppies?

Armenian radio asked: What is diplomacy?
Diplomacy is the art of saying “good dog” while your hand is searching for a good rock.

Armenian radio asked: Can a movie have a happy end if the main hero dies?
Yes, if the main hero is a mother-in-law.

- Hey, waiter! My breakfast costs thirteen roubles but the check says fourteen.
- I thought you’ve said you are superstitious.

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